Reframing Our Goals 重塑我们的目标
Setting goals that are values-focused rather than outcome-focused
Earlier in the year, I set both small and big goals for myself. I met most of my smaller goals, but did not achieve my larger goals. I was a bit hard on myself from not checking these larger goals off and questioned whether I was still on the right path.
I completed an exercise where I used my calendar to look back on what I did every week for the last year and jotted down major events. To my surprise, I recognized that throughout the year I remained true to my top values. Yay! I made decisions that prioritized my own health and well-being. I spent time with family and friends, and even traveled cross-country multiple times to see some of them. I created a new community of friends. I explored new experiences and places. I developed new skills. I learned to be more vulnerable. I became an entrepreneur and gained more clarity about myself from my endeavors. I did my best to positively influence the world by sharing wisdom I learned from my own journey to guide others through their own.
Even though I didn’t meet all my goals, I recognize that I accomplished a tremendous amount this past year. Not only that, but I traversed many obstacles and grew from all of it. I had put effort into meeting my goals consistently throughout the year, meeting some and not meeting others. But whatever the case, all my efforts deserved celebration and acknowledgment. Even though I didn’t meet my larger goals, I was closer and closer than I ever was before to meeting them. All of this mattered! I had initially discounted my progress because I was so fixated on the outcome. And yet, here was proof that I worked hard diligently. So I wasn’t going to give up on achieving them.
Coming from tech, we’re taught to set clear, objective, measurable goals like: Go-Live with 3 projects on time and on budget, or meet with 4 stakeholders every quarter to exchange feedback. For my managers, during performance review, it’s clear whether these have been accomplished or not. But when I set goals this way, I am focused on just checking it off, getting it done, trying to achieve the outcome. In reality, some outcomes are out of our control. When I’m so focused on manifesting the outcome, I lose sight of the meaning, the purpose, and motivation behind what I’m doing. This coming year, I’m setting goals a little differently, focusing not so much on the outcome but on the process and ways in which I want to grow.
For instance, this past year, even though I didn’t meet a suitable life partner, I deepened and expanded my understanding of the way I love myself and others. This year, even though I didn’t generate the desired income from my business, I exercised new pathways, stepped into my creativity, learned new skills, and experienced a brand new path. So I can be kind and patient with my transformation. It’s ok to go slowly in the beginning as I’m taking baby steps. I’m certain that the more steps I take, the more I will become confident and clear about what I want to manifest and how I want to manifest it.
For this coming year, a few of the goals I’m setting are not outcome focused, but growth and values focused:
Develop better intuition. Trust and listen to this intuitive guidance more.
Practice speaking, whether through conversation or delivering a presentation, in a more polished way.
Engage in more creative and fun activities like ceramics, art, writing, and movement that lighten my heart and soul.
Continue to deepen and heal my connection with myself, my family, and friends.
Upon reflection, I’ve come a long way in the last couple of years. And even though my path feels harder than before, I feel more happy, alive, and fulfilled than I ever had. Here’s to another new year!
I wrote this poem on Dec 31, 2022 that captures my transition into 2023. Leaving behind the familiar with some trepidation and dancing my way into a new year of new possibilities and unknowns. Happy New Year, friends! May you lean into what lights your soul on fire. If what I wrote resonates with you, perhaps rethink how you frame your goals for this coming year to align with your values!
Beginning Again
By Liwei
I feel stressed. I feel lost, unsure, and conflicted.
I’m at a cross-road.
Which direction should I go?
I feel afraid of whether I will survive in this world.
The path ahead of me is full of uncertainty and unknowns.
I want to run back to the comfort of what I’ve always known.
Yet I am also a curious and brave explorer.
And an artist with unlimited creativity and influence.
I yearn to experience and create what’s unknown.
I fully love and accept all that I feel with utmost compassion.
Being a loving witness and space holder to myself.
I shed a few tears.
Magically, the stress dissipates.
There is no more decision to be made.
Peace now resides.
Before I know it, I have already changed form.
I’ve already moved forward.
Just doing what lights up my soul.Here are ways you can support me and my work:
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