Navigating China
My trial run of experiencing life in China
I’m here in Wuhan and China in general for an unknown period of time. It turns out I’m here to lay down some of the foundations of my life coaching business in China and spend more time living out here.
I was quite resistant to coming out here because China is a very harsh, polluted, fast, and competitive place to be. The environment is so far from my ideal quiet, lush green landscape and blue-sky type of place. But my intuition told me to come here. Upon arriving I could feel my calling come alive — it’s exactly where I need to be so that I can start to instill the change that I’d like to see in the people, culture, and country where I was born. People in China do not have exposure to some of the resources that are available in Western countries, and part of that is due to the Great Firewall.
I intend to spread messages through Chinese social media (小红书) and in-person within the community to have more open and curious-minded people explore more of who they truly are. It means that they’ll take better care of themselves, listen to themselves, find happiness and peace within themselves, and find the courage to do more of what truly lights them up. I hope that they will feel more deeply connected to the world around them and this will inspire them to create a more meaningful life.
It means that I’m going to spend more time in China and I’m going to have to get better at Chinese — my listening is advanced, my speaking is intermediate, and my reading is elementary. This journey will be challenging, but it’ll also be exciting, fun, and soul-fulfilling.
Transitioning to being out in China has been an uncomfortable process, I think partly because I know that I am meant to be here yet a part of me can’t accept it and is resisting it. There’s a voice inside me saying…what about us being in a beautiful place with access to grand nature views? Fresh air? Generous, warm, and kind-hearted people? Clean streets? Slow and dreamy lifestyle? Quiet and still nights? Not to mention – being somewhere closer to Mom and Dad, my brother, Brownie dog, my pet birds? What about the even San Francisco Bay Area – it’s somewhat like Melbourne and it’s still in the US…
It’s so hard to let go. It’s so painful to let go of the things that I hold so close and dear to my heart. And I’m not even talking about letting go completely; I’m talking about even letting go just a little. I have been reminding myself that the Buddha said one of the top 3 things that matter in life is how gently we let go. Maybe it’s only spending 4 months in the USA going forward, instead of 11 months. Even this change is hard to accept because it means several fewer months of all the things I’ll miss mentioned above.
While that part of me is going through that process, another part of me is opening up to being here in China. And this is a very normal human experience – having 2 or more seemingly opposing parts of us coexist and feel different things at the same time. This other part of me feels happy to be in China. This part of me accepts and feels that China is home, too. This part of me loves the sound of the birds (even the semi-annoying and endearing cuckoo that actually sounds like one of those spring-mechanism bird alarms that starts going at 4:30 AM in the morning), the rain splattering on the roof and window, the hot blazing furnace of Wuhan, the chit-chat of people speaking in Mandarin, the accessibility and convenience of being out here, seeing laundry being kissed by sunlight, my comfortably-sized apartment, my brother’s cat that I’m adopting and slowly falling in love with, the community coming out in the evening for dancing, badminton, outdoor gym exercises, and play. If I had to admit, there’s a deep soulful part of me that loves being in Wuhan and feels happiness to be here to the point where I tear up feeling as if what my heart has ached for is here.
It’s been taking me a bit of time to reconnect with myself after coming to China. The first couple of weeks were hectic. The constant hustle and bustle in China also means that it’s easy to be distracted, it’s easy to pull attention away from oneself. I have had to change and deepen my practice of going inward to connect to the serenity within my heart and soul.
I’m also making my movements and actions even smaller, tuning into more subtle things. I’m starting to notice the significant impact of even smaller movements. Isn’t it amazing that the most subtle microscopic changes can have ripple effects? I am learning this through my Feldenkrais practice. Even 1mm of movement in my pelvis affects the entire spine and creates a change in the entire body. When movements are big, it can trigger big patterns and I can miss the smaller, more subtle things that are happening. Even thinking about initiating a movement and paying attention to the breath indicates where there is ease and where there is resistance.
Amidst the hustle and bustle of a big city where everyone seems to be rushing to their next destination, I’m reminded to slow down and take smaller steps. I’m reminded that even here my nervous system can feel calm and spacious. I’m reminded that happiness can be found right now in the present moment. I’m reminded to let go of chasing after something because the best and happiest moments in life are right in front of me. And to cherish it before it passes.
I invite you to also slow down and take your eyes off your screen to notice what is happening around you. Maybe it’s 2 friends walking down the street in conversation laughing together. It might not be obvious but happiness, joy, and connection can be found in the most ordinary everyday moments. Why not slow down and lift your eyes to the world around you to start to notice it?
I am a heart-centered coach who supports Asian millennials to deepen self-love and bridge intergenerational and cultural gaps, leaving them feeling more joyfully connected to themselves, to family, and to community, as well as empowered to live in greater alignment with their personal values and needs. To learn more about me or enquire about having me as your coach, please reach out via the contact form on my website at: https://alaliwei.com/
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I am a heart-centered coach who supports Asian millennials to deepen self-love and bridge intergenerational & cultural gaps, leaving them feeling more joyfully connected to themselves, to family, and to community, as well as empowered to live in greater alignment with their personal values and needs. Book a coaching series with me through my website: alaliwei.com
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