Letting Go
How to be curious and gentle with this process
As we go through change, we inevitably have to let go. If we’re letting go of something that is dear and precious to us, this process can be challenging. So I wanted to share how I’ve made the process a little bit easier for myself. There are 2 major elements that I’ve found that have helped me: 1. Be curious! 2. Be gentle
You might ask…how can I be curious? Well, I’m glad you asked! As you’re going through the process, you might ask yourself something like: “What does it feel like to let go? How is it showing up?” I’ve been in the process of letting go of several things this past week. Initially, when it was emotionally hard and painful, I would just want to resist the experience. It’s natural for us to want it to be comfortable and easy, but letting go of something that’s dear to our hearts is never easy. We want to avoid and resist what’s uncomfortable, but when we stop resisting and become curious, the process becomes so much easier.
I asked myself the question: What is it like to let go? My answer: I feel a constriction in my chest and throat, as well as tension in my head. I feel a little anxious, I feel a little sad, even a bit confused. I’m swaying back and forth between letting go and clutching on. I’m making logical reasons for why letting go would be a good idea. I’m feeling that letting go is the best decision I can make…it just feels right even though it feels hard. I’m recognizing the possibilities and opportunities open up to me for more freedom. Being curious makes the process easier because you’re not resisting the letting go process which is going to happen anyway, you’re being open to it and letting the energy move.
I also asked myself the question: How can I make this process easier for myself? My answer was dependent on the moment but it ranged from going on a walk with neighbors to eating some sweet dessert to lying down for a nap. Ask yourself this question and go act on it to lighten up the process for yourself!
Being gentle means giving yourself as much time as you need to be grateful and appreciative of the place, person, object, and/or the experience that you’re letting go. Let me give you a simple example of how this went for me. As some of you know, I have a cute, sweet little road bike. My Cannondale Supersix Evo. This little bike enabled me to have the most wonderful adventures all over the Bay Area, taking me to places that I had never walked, hiked, or driven through. I got to bike up and down the golden hills of California, through redwood forests, to coffee shops and bakeries in the different neighborhoods of SF, and along the Pacific coast. Along the way, I met tons of friends through biking.
As my life changed and my priorities changed, I biked less and my beloved bike sat in my garage for 3 years. So I thought it was time to sell it last year. But the process of selling it took me a while. I listed it many times, and took my listing down many times, even with people being interested and not interested. I just wasn’t ready yet. If you’re not ready, there’s no need to force and pressure yourself to be! Just relax, have fun, add some sweetness to your life, and give yourself the extra time you need! This week I was finally ready to let this bike go. Even so, I unexpectedly cried for a couple of minutes the moment the buyer drove away with it. After all, I’ve created such special and precious memories with that bike.
Remember to be curious and tender with yourself when letting go. Being curious helps you be attuned to your experience and being gentle gives you space and time. Don’t force yourself if you aren’t ready for it! Before you know it, you’ll feel light and free because you’ve let go, and you don’t even know at what moment it happened! I’d like to hear from you. If you’re going through a letting go process, how is it going for you?
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