Holding Space
Being more attuned, available, and present
Maybe it’s the changing of seasons for the nights are getting longer. I feel myself turning more inward again. The last 2 weeks I have been learning on a deeper level what it means to hold space so that I feel more connected to me, to other people, and to Mother Earth. I wanted to share with you 3 big lessons I learned as a result of not holding space well, and then learning from that so it can be done better.
Let the heavy emotions and thoughts in. Really let it in. Give it space and a home. I don’t know about you but I feel there’s a part of me that seems to be wired to judge heavy emotions as “bad”. To push it away, block it, resist it, and ignore it. However, when I practice being with it and getting to know it, I am quickly soothed. It really feels like magic, like alchemy (because it is)! Every part of you wants to be known and seen and heard, including all the heavy and dark parts. When these parts are truly seen and heard, it doesn’t keep asking for attention louder and louder.
When interacting with another human being who is sharing something close to their heart, to be curious, engaged, and present. I experienced how this was done well and not well by me and also to me. It will feel drastically different – when done well it will feel like you have met that person’s need, it will feel like you are right next to them standing by their side. When not done well, you will both feel disconnected. One thing I had to shift was my mentality – I used to operate more from a stance of I am here having my own thoughts and feelings and you are over there with your own thought or feelings which I do not want to be a part of. Shifting my energy to be more spacious, receptive, and neutral of what may be shared by someone else has made a big difference.
Placing awareness in your heart. I think that we have a tendency to put awareness in our head which is sometimes necessary, but I have noticed that it’s great to put more awareness in the heart. When you converse with someone from your mind, you may tend to spew out more words, create stories, describe, explain, etc. However, when you converse with someone from your heart, you can get to the essence with fewer and more precise words and speak only from what is present in this moment. There is no thinking about what to say, it’s just saying what needs to be said. When I practiced this with a friend, not only did she feel completely met, but I also felt expansive and grounded as I was speaking.
I hope these tidbits of lessons from my own journey can help you hold deeper space for yourself so that you can feel more connected to more parts of yourself and to other people, animals, and to Nature.
With this, I leave you with words from my inner child where she expresses how she feels as I hold deeper space for her. They are words of love and gratitude, and yes I know I know, it may also sound like a romantic love letter from a partner out of context 🙂
Words From My Inner Child
When I feel pain and clenched, you soften and let me in rather than push me away.
When I feel low in energy, you cancel all plans and spend time with me by the water or by the trees.
When I feel afraid, you hold me tightly and place a warm comforting hand on me so that I feel safe.
When I feel overwhelmed, you lie down frequently and ask the universe, your family, and friends for help.
When I feel tickled, you wiggle your feet and giggle with delight.
When I feel connected, you cry because it feels so good, so expansive, and erases my false belief that I am not.
When I feel serenity, you take in the world, settle with a sigh, and wear a smile on your face and heart.
When I feel energized, you take me out to explore and play with friends.
There is no doubt that I am supported and loved by you.
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