Experiencing the Contrast
How traveling to China helped me see the benefits of a contrasting experience
Exploring other possibilities can be both challenging and rewarding. To me, part of living a full life is being open to other opportunities and possibilities rather than always staying in the same lane. Of course, it can be tiring and unstable to do this constantly but every once in a while when you’re curious and feel a thirst for adventure, it’s worth it to take calculated risks to explore something new and different just to learn from the experience.
When I went back to China for a month, I experienced what it was like when life is in stark contrast to living in the US. I learned to like being in China for all the aspects that I yearned for and for what the US lacked. Yet after I came back to the US, I also appreciated being home more so than ever before. I imagine that maybe this is why some cultures purposely bring in a contrasting experience – for instance, the Muslim culture has Ramandan for a month which I experienced when I lived for a couple of years in Qatar. During this month of fasting, they learn self-discipline, self-reflect, and develop gratitude for having access to food all the other months of the year.
Here’s what I loved about China. You could feel the busyness and vitality of life bustling around you. Tall buildings with people’s laundry hanging out to dry, almost every street lined with stores and restaurants, and people skillfully maneuvering around one another. Despite all the crowdedness, there is still order and it is actually safe to go around by yourself at night. Even in a country where there is stiff competition, where many people are hustling to survive, I found some goodness in humanity – that family and friends would bend over backwards to help one another and coworkers found ways to get together after work for meals and joke around. When I lived in an apartment by myself in China, I savored hearing the sounds of birds chirping all day (to my surprise), and neighbors practicing on their musical instruments such as the saxophone and drums. Life could be ordinary even amongst all the metropolitan chaos. I also relished that I could conveniently walk 5 minutes every day to the nearest supermarket and shopping mall and buy whatever I wanted to eat or needed for that day. Or I could bike for hours exploring the endless streets and alleyways. And I could go outside with just my phone because I could do almost anything in China with 2 apps on my phone, WeChat and Alipay – order food at a restaurant, order take out, shop and pay for items, order a Didi taxi service, rent a bike, etc.
When I came back to the US, I unexpectedly felt an experience similar to the story in The Alchemist, where after a long journey elsewhere, you truly realize everything you love the most has always been at home. People here are more at ease and chill in comparison, even in large cities. No harshness, no anxious rush to get to places, no pushing and shoving to be first. There is more breathing room and space (personal and living), there is more green to delight the eyes, more blue sky, more nature, more ability to find stillness to connect to the soul, more cultural diversity, more cooperation. The air just feels different – more relaxed, more clean, more serene. Like I had come back to a peaceful and harmonious paradise – I could feel the difference in my body. I loved China for all I experienced there AND I also loved the US like I never had before. It felt utterly sweet to be back home.
Comparing the US and China isn’t like comparing apples to apples. It’s like comparing apples to oranges. And by experiencing a contrasting life I experienced the following benefits:
Appreciating and being grateful for what you already have. It is much easier and less competitive to live a good life in the US compared to China. I am more grateful for this than ever before.
Finding a more middle ground. I used to be extremely frugal and thought that I had to work very hard to be able to deserve having an enjoyable life. After my trip to China, and seeing people eat abundantly cheap food and experience convenience, I’ve learned to take it easy, enjoy life a bit more without feeling like I have to be busy and work for it, and spend a bit more to make my life easier and more convenient.
Discerning the most important values. Before China, I thought I cared about convenience and the ability to explore many new places. However, after experiencing convenience and endless possibilities for exploration in a large city, I realized that I have values I care about even more. And that is how people treat one another, how deeply and kindly they connect with one another, and how much the society I live in values protecting Mother Earth.
There is no good or bad way of being, just different perspectives and values which can be fluid. I saw that Chinese people have different values from the US. This is an outcome of the environment and history. China experienced extreme poverty so it is currently valuing material wealth and life convenience. Chinese people’s lifestyle is very different from here in the US. And it doesn’t mean that their way is bad compared to the US. It’s what they needed to do to get the pendulum swinging in another direction. I’m sure it’ll swing again. Similarly, the US values certain things like freedom and once any of it goes out of balance, we’ll swing in another direction.
Developing more depth and wholeness. After China, I had tangible experience that culture, mindset, values, and beliefs do not have to be one-dimensional. All of this range of experience in China, US, and elsewhere in the world is acceptable, part of being human, part of the human experience and journey, and possibly a necessary part of the process of maturation and wholeness.
Having a beginner’s mindset by being uncomfortable. When I first arrived in China, I was struggling because I couldn’t do some things that were part of my normal routine. It was ungrounding. But when I learned to open my heart, eyes, and mind to the different, yet positive aspects of humanity and of life in China, I was able to find happiness in a foreign place.
Now that I have had this contrasting experience, I know more about myself than ever before, I am more open and accepting of why people and other cultures might be different, and I know my values better than before. It is now easier for me to make decisions about how I want to move forward in my life. Instead of unconsciously doing what everyone else is doing or letting others influence me, I can consciously choose the path I want to take.
It is my hope that you decide to journey through the curves, hills, and valleys on your path to find what truly matters to you and consciously take steps to walk in alignment with your own values and truths.
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